- Ellen - 18 - Australia - Single -
that one kink that no one can ever know about ever
And God said unto Abraham, “Abraham.”
And Abraham replied, “What.”
God said to John, “Come forth and receive eternal life.” But John came fifth and won a toaster.
And Judas approached the rabbis and Pharisees saying, “The one whom I kiss is the one you seek.”
To which they responded, “Gay.”
And thus, god made Eve. And she was bammin’ slammin’ bootylicious.
see you all in hell
Jeanne Ray (via seulray)
— Keira Knightley (x)
its a shame that in 6 or so billion years, any and all existence on earth will be wiped out by the sun’s expansion, and it’s almost scary to think about how even now the sun continues to grow bigger and hotter, sexy and hotter let’s shut it down. pound the alarm
*drinks vodka* *gags* “ugh I hate vodka” *drinks vodka*